his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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