i just made my gag reflex go away.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
