Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
