I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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