hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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