I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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