Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize