Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She's JV to your varsity
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm sobbing to NWA
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
