My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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