wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
