So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
