its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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