Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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