Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bring me that man meat
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
