i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
