Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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