He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
