Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
