Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize