What a fucking waste of an outfit
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
