You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize