were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
