You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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