Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize