no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize