I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
