so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
