just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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