My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
