1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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