How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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