addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize