haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
