Having a random hookup so left but love u
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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