those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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