did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
