Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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