In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
