Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have fence marks all over my body
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
