ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
