He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
