when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
