He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
