I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize