She announced her abortion via fbk
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
