Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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