I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
