Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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