well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
