Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
