hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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