just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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