that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize