We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
