I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
