Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
