I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
