It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
