Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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