Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
