he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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