That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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