I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
