I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
