he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
His nipple licking is glorious
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