I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
