hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
