even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize