He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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