xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
