I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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