it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
