Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
