Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I fill condoms, not promises.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
